Ok so I’m just getting home from a week at youth camp. We took our group to Austin Texas to an M3 camp. It was an incredible experience.
We were blessed to have one out of our group get saved and another surrender his life to ministry. I was was a little timid going into this trip not knowing what to expect. More importantly I was really wondering if it would be doctrinally sound or if I would have to refute some false teachings. Well….IT WAS SOLID!
I also went to this camp expecting something from the Lord for myself. I feel as if I’ve been in a spiritual drought for a while and needed some rejuvenation. On the 2nd day I went to evening worship asking God to restore my tears. I haven’t cried in a very long time as that concerned me to a great extent. As the service progressed I begged God as each item was presented but to no avail. No tears, no feelings, no emotional or spiritual connection. Then something happened….The preacher had us break into small groups and pray for lost people’s souls in our towns and within our families. I couldn’t take it…I was praying praying and just burst into tears. After the service we were in small group session with and the other leader suggested we just have some quiet time to digest what the Lord had done throughout the service. Took about 5 minutes for the Lord to share this poem with me and I want want to share it with y’all.
Plastic face, a mask. Unemotional heart of glass.
Charades and games, fake smiles and waves…tonight that changed.
I pray, I beg, I ask concerned.
I feel no connection emotionally burned……out.
My request so simple, absurdly so. I just want tears real tears from my eyes to flow.
I stand I sit I raise my hands, I bow before God yet nothing is heard.
Oh God, what is wrong. Fix me I pray.
Renew me. Restore me. Give faith I beg.
But no tears, no passion. I still feel the same.
As I pray for myself. Am I playing a game?
Then suddenly as I kneel and I bow.
Overwhelmed by your glory my eyes overflow.
Stingy selfish prayers for days myself the focus.
So the tears remained……INSIDE!
Now my focus is shifted lost souls are the care,
And I realize that God has restored tears through prayer.